Gangsters r us

I suppose for anybody who lives outside a city, the idea of gangs and gangsters is pretty wild. For those of us who grew up in 'schemes' in Scottish cities, it was pretty normal to be aware of the local gangs and, for young guys, to be wary of where they could and couldn't go. 

My mother was pretty keen to keep her kids close to home: you want to bring your pals here? Fine. You want a snooker table? Also fine. Just don't wander. 

I read recently about this guy called Martin Hamilton. I’m not even going to share a photo of him, he was such a monster. If you’re interested, you can read about him here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-35198331

According to newspaper stories he was a psychopath, a murderer, a rapist (specialising in kidnapping young men and torturing them), a drug dealer and a gangster, known locally as the Blackhill Butcher. Like the Blackhill scheme didn't have enough problems already. He was released from prison not too long ago and his body was found last month on the other side of the country. Police investigations show he was murdered. 

He was such a revolting man I can’t even be bothered wondering who killed him. Maybe it was a drug deal gone wrong.  Other gangsters wiping out the competition? A capo getting rid of a rival?

Who cares?

The police are investigating his death. All I can hope is they don’t investigate too far. There’s no need to worry too much about who was responsible.  I’m kind of rooting for the person(s) who killed him.  In fact, I would encourage other murderers, rapists, drug dealers and gangsters to keep on going: those of us who are law-abiding citizens are quite happy for you to commit murder and mayhem among others of your kind. 

Just leave the rest of us out of it. 

I usually watch the Sky Press Review because I like to see what lies the Murdoch empire is telling us. Right now I’m recording it because otherwise my TV viewing would be interrupted by visits to the loo. Yes, I (and several other family members) have the latest lurgy. Don’t sympathise: with this virus, I don’t need a post-Xmas detox. I’m getting one whether I want it or not.

Last night, the usual smarmy Murdoch clone – I had to google it but his name is Jeremy Thompson  - was up against Zoe Williams of the Guardian and a nice man from the (London) Standard. It’s not too surprising that this Sky ‘journalist’ is never put up against the likes of Kevin Maguire and Andrew Pierce, who would slaughter him. He tried to talk over Zoe Williams, but Zoe has several advantages over him: she is very bright; she knows her stuff; she never gives up when she’s right; and she can be quite funny with it. 

First we dealt with the floods. I’ve been wondering for days if any journalist – BBC, ITN or Sky – would question why these floods are happening again and why the people of Cumbria, Yorkshire, Lancashire and Greater Manchester are not getting the kind of help offered to the people who were flooded out in the Somerset Levels and Gloucester a couple of years ago. Zoe asked. She pointed out that one area is in the north of England and the other in the Tory-voting south.  She also mentioned the cuts that have been made to the flood defence budgets by the Tories. So it was laid out in front of us: the Tory heartlands could have whatever money it took to solve their flooding problem but…and Jeremy Thompson moved us on.

To the hospital doctor issue. It seems the UK employs more ‘foreign’ doctors than any other EU country. Jeremy Thompson was concerned about the language barrier. He claimed a German doctor had killed a patient with an overdose of painkillers because his English was so poor. Zoe was right in there: the problem wasn’t that the doctor’s English was poor. The doctor prescribed the wrong dosage of painkiller - dosages are numbers and numbers are universal. The doctor in question was incompetent and we don’t have systems set up in the UK to assess foreign doctors’ skills – or even to check their references. Zoe also pointed out the reason we need to employ foreign doctors is that we train our own people very well and at vast expense and then treat them badly, so they leave. Jeremy Thompson tried to argue with that claiming many doctors go and work in Africa because they relish the chance to work in an area where they can study ebola – a bit of a stretch that one - but he shut up when Zoe pointed out that the hospital doctors’ strike threats were about wages and conditions. And both for UK hospital doctors are pretty poor.

I found myself thinking: I could watch this all night. A proper discussion. A real argument.  But I wonder if Sky will keep Zoe Williams on. Ian Dale of LBC chucked his place on the Press Review for a while because he was paired with Jacqui Smith (former Home Secretary and another smart cookie) and she kept arguing with him. And she knew what she was talking about.

I’m now looking for someone like Zoe or Jacqui to challenge the BBC on the use of the word ‘we’ in interviews: you’ve probably heard this and may not even have registered it. In a discussion of the bombing of Syria, the question is put by a BBC journalist (allegedly impartial): ‘What do we have to do now?’ The BBC’s job is to represent all sides. We need to hear the opposition view on Syria – yes, there is one - so we can make our own minds up.  Is the BBC biased? I don’t know because there hasn’t been enough research yet, but it is interesting that academic researchers have recently found that interviews on the BBC on anything to do with industry and business will offer the views of 19 people from the business world as against 1 from the trades unions. 

The north wind shall blow...

...and we shall have gales.

About 5 years ago, I stood at my back window looking out at heavy snow falling while a friend from one of the islands phoned home to try to find out if the road to Oban from Glasgow was passable so she could drive home next morning. It wasn't. She didn't. It was March and we'd had a few years of bad snow. It was inconvenient but we coped. She got home 3 days later.

That is the last time I can remember serious snow affecting Argyll and Glasgow.

Since then, it's been gales and heavy swells that have been the problem. Year after year, boats right along the west coast have been badly affected by bad weather. Calmac and other ferry companies have quickly adapted, becoming adept at shifting boats around to make sure island communities have had some sort of service - if at all possible.

The weather on the west coast is going through a wet n windy phase which may last a few years or last for many years to come. It may be the effect of il nino or of climate change. It's probably too early to say. Anyone who claims to know the answer is a fool. Similarly, anyone in government who thinks the awful flooding in Cumbria - and now in Lancashire and Yorkshire - is a 'one-off' is a moron. And that includes HM Government, which cut flood defence budgets last year on the grounds that it couldn't possibly happen again.

So action for today: send the PM to an emergency COBRA meeting, then send him oop north - probably by helicopter to keep him well away from locals who could point out the cuts to flood defence budgets haven't helped - and urge local people 'to take action.' What action would that be, I wonder?

There are cases where action can be taken by individuals: if you have a sore throat, check the contents of your medicine cabinet or go to the emergency chemist. Don't camp out in A&E. But if your house is flooded, we're told to put precious items upstairs. And if you don't have an upstairs or are too feeble to do that? You could rely on charities to come and help: the RNLI for example, last seen swimming across streets in Hebden Bridge. Local mosques and other churches have risen to the occasion, as have the Salvation Army, the WRI and the Red Cross. The army may help. But Westminster? I don't have my fingers crossed.

I have been annoyed in the past by people telling us to stop sending money abroad on foreign aid. There's a good reason for spending on foreign aid: keeping people where they are - rather than here - being the most selfish of them. But in this case, the argument: why are we buying missiles to fire at Syria when people here are in such need? hits home.

Airwick Pure but pure what, eh?

I don't normally watch live tv but right now I'm at the mercy of the Xmas tv planners. Today I switched on and found myself in front of an ad for Airwick Pure.

Apparently, most aerosols contain water which 'falls down' and spoils 'the experience'. This brilliantly incisive text is accompanied by pictures of a woman spraying an aerosol and then watching as her hair turns frizzy. Is that a unique selling point these days? Having straight hair?

Just another couple of comments from a non-scientist:
1 Aerosols are not a good idea if you care about the environment, not to mention being bad for the health of people with asthma. My own biggest problems are: cigarette smoke, smelly candles and the stuff people spray in their houses.
2 You don't need to spray your house. It isn't so dirty you have to mask your smells with another smell from an aerosol. Even if you keep 4 big hairy dogs and a couple of hairy men, you should be okay if you just hoover and open a friggin window from time to time. If you don't believe me that we over-clean, you need to watch an episode of 'Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners.'
3 There's a limit to the nonsense advertising agencies can tell us and I reckon Airwick have reached that limit with this ad. I've said it before and no doubt will say it again:

Hello, sarcasm, my old friend...

I love sarcasm. For Xmas, I gave one of my nephews this mug*:

He laughed like the proverbial drain. I am so thrilled Chris has inherited the Nisbet sarcasm gene. Looking back on life, I can see my father had this gift. So does my brother. And so do I. Just about everything my father said came out sarcastic. Watching a comedy show on tv "starring" Bob Monkhouse, he said: 'Some o these English audiences wid laugh if their teeth wur on fire.' He also hated the Scottish tendency to over-praise anything Scottish because it leaves us with 'a hooseful o second prizes.'

Is it a Scottish 'thing', sarcasm? I'm sure it's not just a teacher thing, although some of the best sarcastic comments I've heard have come from teachers. One colleague watched the grand progress of the director of education through the school, announcing yet another major educational development, commented: 'Here comes the man who can spot a bandwagon a mile away.'

Another colleague listened respectfully to a colleague who was shocked at the amount of drink consumed by teachers at a Xmas night out (she was new) and said sympathetically: 'Ach, Mairi, ye need to enjoy life: live long, die young and leave a beautiful corpse!'

Sarcasm is wasted on kids though. I have a bit of sympathy for the teacher who explains a task three times: once for the bright, twice for the not so bright and three times for the wee chubes that never listen, but still ends up with one wee chube asking:  'Whit've we tae dae?' The teacher's reply: 'Deef as well as daft, eh?' is not going to be understood by said wee chube (but may give the teacher a certain satisfaction). 

Sarcasm properly used is an under-rated skill: it relieves tension, gives the listener a good snigger, and allows the sarcastic free rein to use the magic of language. Is there anything better than the Karen Dunbar line from Chewin the Fat? 

I commend sarcasm to the house - if you can use it well. If you're a politician, forget it. Politicians have nae sense of timing and that's the secret of successful sarcasm.

* available on Amazon!

About this tinternet thingy

Facebook didn't like my new blog. I used the word 'swearing' in my first post and I think the possibility I might be cussing on here the world upside down may have upset the mighty FB empire. So...(sorry, Betti) you can share videos of people being beheaded and animals being tortured on Facebook but you can't threaten to use bad words.

Anyhoo, I went back to my old blog, which mysteriously stopped working in July when I moved house and got a new email address. I updated the email and the password yet again and - well, not exactly a eureka moment - I got in. Whether I can in fact share this on FB, well, we'll see...

Having access to information technology is just like having a car: it's wonderful when it works. You get lured into a false sense of confidence: Yes, I can handle this! I am a 21st century person, at ease with the machines. As soon as the Sky reception goes wonky (as mine did tonight), you're there shouting like a toddler: 'B*st*rd! Just work! Why won't you f*cking work?'

When I moved house in July I had so many problems with email addresses and passwords, I changed the password on everything so that it would always start: afknl - short for: aaaargh f*kin hell. It seems to have worked and I have the double pleasure of knowing I have a password that is just about impossible to guess (there's a number code after the sweary bit that you'll never get out of me) and I am getting a small but enjoyable revenge on technology.

So let's see if the share with FB works...

I'm back!

I tried using the Facebook notes instead of a blog but I think they cramp my style: I reserve the right to rant, shout and use bad words from time to time. (What you, I hear you ask?) So I'm back with a blog. Let's see how long it lasts...