Dear Doctor...

I was in the surgery last week for my annual 'stroke review.' And I want to tell you I will not be coming back for any more.

I had a stroke 35 years ago. It was very unpleasant: I lost the power in my right side for a few weeks: my leg would give way, my hand didn't work, my right eye disappeared, my speech was slurred, but I got better over months because I had a great physio, not because of anything a doctor did, since nobody I saw at either the Victoria or the Southern diagnosed the problem for 8 months - because strokes are what old people get. I can't describe the pain that ran from the top of my head down through my neck into my right arm and my leg, ending in tingling, cramps, twitches and pain in my foot and hand. When the neurologist told me I'd had a 'wee stroke' I nearly hit him. "Had one yourself, have you?" said I. He backed off at once and began to explain what problem the arteriogram and the scans had found. Could he tell me the prognosis? He called in the neurosurgeon who had examined my scans, one of the most unpleasant people I've ever met. I put the same question to him. "Who knows what anyone's future holds?" he said. "Will I have another stroke? If so, soon?" I asked. "How long is a piece of string?" he replied.

So I went home, carried on with the physio, went back to work (too soon, in fact), did a lot of yoga and a bit of walking and generally got on with life. Then the practice nurse at the surgery wrote to me...

So this year, as in years gone by, I filled in the stroke review form sent out in advance:

* No, I don't smoke - I am an ex-smoker, having given up 33 years ago

* Yes, I drink but I haven't been drinking much since about Xmas, because I'm feeling a bit poorly right now - in fact, I've had a lot of tests recently to try to find out why I have no energy, have this hissing in my ears, don't want to eat, don't sleep properly, etc

* Yes, normally I take exercise: I volunteer at a food bank where we go round and round filling shelves, then go round and round again as clients come in, filling their bags - it's a good 2 hour workout every week - I also deliver books to homebound people, carting bags of books up and down tenement stairs

* No, I don't want a referral to someone who can advise me on exercise, because, as I have explained,  I have damaged the ligaments in my right knee and am going for physio - or I will be once I'm not too knackered to attend - and I am also hoping to get back to the volunteering quite soon because I love it.

So why am I not coming back to the surgery for the annual stroke review? I can see what's in this review business for the surgery: it's a tickbox activity. Maybe the surgery even gets paid by the NHS for doing it.

But what's in this for me?

After years of reviews, will I live any longer? Is my health any better? In the 35 years since my stroke, has technology advanced any, so that there might be the possibility of repairing the wonky artery in my brain that caused the original stroke? If I was still working in education as a quality improvement officer, I'd be asking this question: what can we do to make this situation better?

Now that's what I call a review.

So I won't be back. Unless the surgery can tell me what benefit there is for me in attending these meetings.