There's a new spin-off show from Criminal Minds on TV. It's called 'Beyond Borders' and it starts off with this statement read by Gary Sinise* (Mr Woodentop himself):
"Every year, 65 million Americans leave the safety of our shores..."
Poor benighted sods, these people go off to volunteer on farms in lawless places like Thailand. It seems they want to do their bit for the planet, not just fritter their time away as tourists. But never fear: Gary heads up a team that sets out to rescue fellow Americans in peril all over the world. The team have their own plane which carries their own vehicles (no doubt already equipped with local registrations or maybe diplomatic plates - we're not told) and they disembark in places like Thailand as fast as you can say 'No border control here!' The team come fully tooled up with loadsa guns, solve all problems and rescue all Americans who need them. They do, however, include in their team one person who speaks the local language and keeps the team briefed on local etiquette, like 'Women, don't offer to shake hands with men in Thailand.' Shoot them, yes. Greet them, no.
I'll admit I laughed when I heard Gary introduce the programme and realised that according to Hollywood, the USA is a haven of safety and security and the rest of the world is dangerous and threatening. Who says Murricans don't do irony? Well, I do for one. A couple of days after I saw this, I heard on the news that some crazy person in Ohio had murdered 8 people from one family and was still on the loose - armed - in the local community. And has anyone noticed in the USA that terrorist attacks have so far come from people born and/or brought up in - yes, the USA?
I wonder how dangerous the rest of the world is for Americans compared to home? Anyone got the stats?
Just as important, does nobody in Hollywood ever stop and think: We want to sell this series all over the world. How will other countries regard it - and us? Is this really the image of our country we want to sell abroad?
There's one other little point that really annoyed me about episode 1 of this series: it's hot in Thailand. The Americans sweat a lot, although the Thais don't, but nobody ever comments on the humidity. I've recently read a series of books by Colin Cotterill set in Laos and Thailand in which the locals start every conversation with: 'Shit, it's hot.'
*Who is Gary Sinise and why does he have such a hold over the producers of series like CSI? I know one of the major players in NCIS is married to the daughter of the executive producer of the series and I assume that's part of the deal: here's my money, but you have to take my son in law. So who is Gary sleeping with?
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