Notice I'm not saying it's good. Just that it's morning. Yes, I'm talking to you, my friends, the pigeons. Or flying rats as I prefer to call you. Yes you, the ones that wake me up at 6am having sex, baths and loud conversations on the flat roof opposite my bedroom window. Every feckin morning. Double glazing is no barrier to you lot. You take the prize as the noisiest wildlife in the neighbourhood. Magpies, gulls, nothing frightens you. They might be more aggressive, but pigeons win the ALB (annoying little bastards) contest every time. It's hard to believe how much crap something as small as you can leave behind. Our cars are liberally covered. All the time.
I'm not normally a hostile person. As a rule, I like wildlife. But I don't care if pigeons are protected by the might of the RSPB. If I ever get my hands on you, you've had it. I just do not see the point of you lot.
If anybody has access to a hungry bird of prey, let me know. I have a treat for you.
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