Klaize

I saw a photo of a shop in Glasgow with Klaize as its name. I like that.

I haven't been clothes shopping for a while, having been poorly. Mind you, I'd be hard put these days to say where I could go to buy clothes. I went online tonight and searched for Elvi. It used to have a lovely shop in Newton Mearns selling over-priced clothes for fat women. The clothes mostly came from Germany. I'd never noticed in Germany but German women obviously have huge bosoms, because the tops and dresses rarely fitted us pigeon-chested Scots. The company was bought over about 10 years ago and the new owners decided to sell online. I can see that hasn't gone well: I got directed to websites selling 'elvish' clothes, but no Elvi.

Evans went the same way: a few shops but mainly an online 'presence.' Debenham's stopped selling clothes for fatties at all years ago, as did Dorothy Perkins which I loved, and M&S assistants give assurances in Silverburn that 'you'll find larger sizes on the rails' but they lie.

I looked at Marina Rinaldi's range. Just too glam and, dearie me, the prices!

So I'm left with M&Co's overpriced Scandinavian collection and Asda. The sister and I hit Asda in Toryglen last weekend, having looked in Asda in Newton Mearns and decided what was on offer was horrible. What was on offer in Toryglen was equally horrible. I saw tops with weird sleeves: long sleeves - not that useful in summer - with bits cut out from shoulder to elbow or with tight bits at the elbow and layers of frills at the wrists. And all in hellish prints that resemble nothing so much as 1950s curtains.

And yes, I could order online. But, as I've said, I'm poorly and I suspect I'd have to be going back and forth to the post office or the shop returning stuff that didn't fit. I'm not up to that yet. And - as I've found when ordering night clothes from M&S online - you really can't tell what the material is like from a photo, so you could be rejecting stuff a lot.

You may be thinking it's my own fault for being fat. In fact, I have two friends who are always up for meeting me for lunch but cannot get through the starter without mentioning my weight. It's not even the elephant in the room - I'd settle for that rather than having to listen to them telling me how important it is to take exercise and eat right. I tell them I have CFS which affects my gut, but I try to keep the rest of my vital signs normal: my liver and kidneys are working well, my blood tests are fine, my cholesterol is 5.1 without statins (I'm allergic) which even the GP says is fine.

And day after day, my ears are accosted by radio and TV comments about the obeeeesity problem, with people who are built like (as the late Terry Wogan used to say) racing snakes telling off the rest of us because we are obeeeese. Not that they understand that the word 'obese' has a particular meaning - and it's not just 'fat.' Sometimes they say anyone who is overweight is 'morbidly obese.'

Meanwhile is there any way I can treat myself to some new tops, and some cropped trousers for the summer? I'm glad to say I can now buy properly fitting shoes: Clarks have opened a shop in Silverburn that stocks a range of rather nice D and E fitting shoes, so I am now back to my real size of 5 1/2 for the first time in years.

Clothes shops take note.