The state of me

For the past two years, I've had what has now - finally - been diagnosed as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME). I have no energy, my gut acts up all the time, I'm either sleeping 15 hours a day or not sleeping at all - and the list of symptoms goes on. Pretty boring.

For the last 5 weeks, I've also had a slipped disk. Is that how you spell 'disk' in this case? I wouldn't know, never having had this before. It ruined my holiday in Islay. I had to come home early, wheelchaired to the plane on Islay and wheelchaired from the plane to the pick-up point at Glasgow airport when I got back. I have no complaint about any of the people who took care of me. I can't complain about the medics in Islay, who provided painkillers when I was demented after 4 days of what seemed to be sciatica but turned out to be worse. My sister picked me up at the infamous Car Park 2, after spending an hour in traffic because that wee sh*t Eminem had picked that night to play at Bellahouston Park. The out of hours service at the New Victoria in Glasgow was good when I was at the end of my tether. So was my own GP. My brother was good when I pulled the curtain rail down after falling on my arse because I turned too fast...

So where am I going with this?

Quite a few people have contacted me over the past two years and go on contacting me with suggestions for 'cures' - or at least ways to improve my health. They variously suggest honeycomb, acupuncture, cognitive behaviour therapy, reflexology, yoga.

I appreciate everyone's concern. But please, understand that I have so far missed out on a mammogram, an audiology appointment, an eye test and a dental check-up. I can't even manage to get to the hospital for a much needed x-ray. And my hair is a mess. I can't drive. I tried it last week and got the fright of my life when I realised I couldn't stop the car at the end of the road because my right foot couldn't reach the brake - kinda basic road safety that...

By all means, come and visit. Afternoons are best. I may not be dressed, depending on the state of the slipped disk. The entry fee is an Americano and a croissant.