Fancy a movie?

I don't go to the movies any more - apart from the very occasional outing to the GFT (Glasgow Film Theatre).

I can't stand the smells for a start: hot dogs and nachos eaten by people who apparently canny go 20 minutes without eating something. Meanwhile I can't get a decent cup of coffee to take in with me - let alone a glass of wine - just an overpriced bottle of water.

I also can't stand the disruption: 10 minutes after the film starts, some clown in my row wants out. It's always a guy. What for? To go to the toilet or to buy a 'snack'? Why didn't he do that before the movie started?

And I really canny stand the noise: phones going off, despite requests on the screen for 'patrons' to turn their phones off. The phones ringing might be acceptable if it wasn't for the morons who answer the calls and carry on a wee conversation while I'm trying to follow the film.

And then there's the prices:  I looked them up: 'the average Odeon peak adult cinema ticket to see a 2D movie costs £9.04, although in many cases extra charges apply. Off-peak it is £8.0.0' The extra charges are for 3D and no doubt for 'special' showings of films like Star Wars.

So that's £16-18.08 for 2 adults on a date. Not to mention the cost of the 'snacks' or the meal beforehand. And how much is that for a family of 2 adults and 2 kids I wonder?

It doesn't surprise me to read that cinema attendances in the USA are falling pretty fast and it's mainly due to rising ticket costs:

https://movieweb.com/movie-theater-attendance-2017-rising-ticket-prices/

I'll bet it's happening in the UK too.

Old people like me remember when this happened before.

When I was wee, I went to the movies every Saturday morning with the 'big girls', local lassies who would march 20 or more of us along Govan Road to the Plaza cinema to see Disney classics like Cinderella and Snow White. My mother told me the big girls were mortified when I stood up during Cinderella and bellowed: 'You've dropped yer slipper!'

In my teens, I went to the movies just about every week with my friends. I lived in Pollok which had zero facilities of any kind: nae cinema, nae pub, nae cafes, definitely nae restaurants. But there was a cinema in nearby Cardonald that we could walk to, and if we didn't fancy the movie that was on there (note: cinemas then showed different films, not the same 3 or 4 blockbusters), we would take the bus to Mosspark (one cinema) or to Govan (3 cinemas, although it used to be 5).

And then cinemas shut down and were converted into bingo halls. After that, they either shut altogether or were turned into supermarkets. By then I was a student and could go to the movies in the centre of Glasgow - and get a discount.

Now I wonder: what happens next? A repeat of the disaster of the 70s and 80s? Or can the multiplexes reinvent themselves? It will take a real re-imagining.

I see some UK cinemas are installing armchairs - recliners, in fact. I seem to remember enjoying that  - and wonderful air conditioning - maybe 15 years ago in Canada and the USA.

How about private viewings? Book a small theatre in a multiplex for you and your family and friends. You pick the film and choose the time and date, and the cinema arranges the snacks or the meal in a nearby restaurant. Actually that sounds like quite a good way for me to celebrate my upcoming big birthday!