Slàinte!

I took my courage in both hands this week and phoned the doctors' surgery and turned down their offer of a 'stroke review.' This caused a certain amount of consternation on the part of the receptionist (What doesn't? The words 'good morning' can get this woman into a tizzy.) Did I want another appointment? No. I'm just not doing it any more. I'll take my chances, especially since I've noticed that while we talk at these reviews about my weight, whether I smoke and how much I drink, the one thing we never talk about is the possibility of a stroke.

Nor do I want the ultrasound offered after I recently had a colonoscopy that turned out to be completely clear, as did the blood tests afterwards. My vital organs are in fine fettle, thanks.

The mammogram is also out from now on. The way the mammogram is done has changed recently and it's even more unpleasant than before. Again, I'll take my chances.

I'd already chucked the flu jag because it made me ill. Yes, I know, it's a dead vaccine and can't affect me. But it did.

I'll go on doing what a friend calls 'the excreta test.' I call it the jobby test. But that is it.

So what's brought about this sudden rebellion?

First of all, I'll be 70 in March. I've had a stroke (at 35 - not nice) and Guilain-Barré (now that's a syndrome to avoid if you can) and I honestly never expected to be here. The family history also doesn't make for cheerful reading. That's why I went round the northern hemisphere 7 years ago while I was still pretty fit (cheers, Craig!). But from now on, I'm just going to enjoy life.

Secondly, it's suddenly clear to me that medical science is not keeping up with the ageing population: everyone I know that is heading for 70 or 80 or 90 has got something - or several things - wrong with them. These are not new health problems but just the stuff old people have always had: arthritis, diabetes, cataracts, dementia, sciatica, digestive problems, kidney disease, Parkinson's, etc. What could be a healthy old age is just the same old grind it always was because there are no solutions to these problems - yet.

What's happening now is we're all being urged to examine our 'lifestyle.' As if cutting out the fags, a pint and sweeties could somehow prevent the ageing process or reverse osteoporosis or bowel disease.

I have the awful feeling my generation is just too young to get the benefits of current research into ageing. That's maybe a couple of generations down the line and I wish future generations the best of luck as they live to be 125.

But living in the UK is depressing enough right now without devoting my declining years to a topic as boring as health, so here's to a long and happy - and, with luck, riotous - life! Make the most of it.

Slàinte!