What would my mother make of Boris Johnson?

According to my nephews, when they were growing up their mother's favourite word if she was in a bad mood was b*st*rdin. 'This b*st*rdin house,' she would say when the boiler went off yet again. 'That b*st*rdin car' would have had its ears burning every time it failed to start - if it had had ears. 'This b*st*rdin weather' was a problem if she had hung out a washing but was now at work and the rain came on.

She inherited this tendency to cussing from our mother. This is her in 1947, Jean Dunn MacDonald Nisbet, 'the rose between two thorns' she told us she was (my father is on the left and my uncle John on the right) when they were on holiday with Rita, my father's sister, in Galloway.

Except that our mother's favourite cussword was 'get.' You could be a 'cheeky get' or even a 'cheeky wee get' but the worst thing she could say about anyone was that they were a 'useless get.' She normally kept that epithet for a few of the people she worked with. She ran the laundry at Crookston Homes till it closed and was replaced by a yuppy housing scheme. Crookston Homes was like a wee village: elderly people lived in cottages, alone or in couples, but could move to the main facility if they were no longer able to manage on their own. My mother worked hard and expected her colleagues to work hard too. The thing about running a laundry in a care home is, if you don't have things done on time and done properly, the residents will be left without the basics: no towels, no clean sheets, no underwear. It's that basic. I doubt if anyone who worked there - including my mother - ever earned more than the minimum wage.

Today I've been wondering what she would make of the politicians wafting across our TV sets since the EU referendum. And I have a horrible feeling she would describe them all as useless gets.

George Osborne has disappeared, maybe to put off the moment when he has to resign, leaving us with an unimaginable national deficit. David Cameron has resigned, preferring to drop us in it rather than stay on and try to plan for the future before he hands off to his successor. I wonder if Bawjaws Johnson went off to play cricket today in order to avoid questions like: what happens next? Not that he would be able to tell us. because Boris, as well as being posh and entitled, doesn't have a political idea in his head. The Labour Party hasn't helped much, with Blairites fomenting rebellion against Jeremy Corbyn, despite the fact that he has a mandate from the membership who have shown several times over how much they hate the Blair legacy.

Yep, useless gets every one of them.

But the EU ministers are not so useless. They have had a meeting and have agreed a plan of action: they want the UK out. Now. Not later, to a schedule that suits the Brits. And why not? After all, why should they hold this viper to their breast?

Have we forgotten that the 'faceless, unelected bureaucrats' of Brussels hold the whip hand? They are in control of the money tap. So here's a warning to the north-east of England, the south-west and Wales: the money is about to dry up. Your infrastructure will be without support from now on. Think Westminster will help? Frankly, you voted to leave the EU so hell whack it into you. Unfortunately, other areas like the Western Isles and the former mining areas of central Scotland will be cut off too.

You think you are poor now? Just wait a year.